冷莫凡

冷莫凡

由愛構成,以愛為念, 啁啾不休,熱血未絕。

"Takashi Domoto Todaiji LIVE 2018"

For me, the process of simulating the "return" to that time and space through the captured images was actually quite difficult.
That night had a huge impact on my emotions, and from that moment on, I felt overwhelmed.
I was far away from him at that time. Looking back now, it may have been a deliberate arrangement by the heavens, allowing me to be in a safe distance where I could still support myself.

The pain in my heart, the painful crying, and many more profound soul-stirrings that couldn't be put into words were extremely agonizing. These pains lay dormant after that time and space, but now they are being stirred up, causing intense stinging without fully awakening.

I cried so much, my heart was beating so fast. It felt like suffocation, like dehydration. I, who wasn't exercising, felt completely drained as if I had just returned from some extreme sport.

At one point, I calmed down a bit and could even smile during the session.
I thought maybe I could face the "street" calmly, but the heart and soul are truly independent.
I started crying out loud again, just like that moment when I couldn't hold back my tears.

Why don't I keep his words as well?
Not only because those words are too important, but also because it's really difficult to bring closure in such an intense state without a subsequent soothing movement.

During the process, I thought about so many things.
In the dedication of the music, because there were no words involved, my mechanism quickly operated autonomously, with endless words and phrases vying to fill the void.
But those thoughts and words strangely refused to be captured.
I feel like every word I speak is wrong. Always out of place. Just like those emotions, they prefer to remain unrecognized, and what can be seen will never be their true form.

The Great Buddha kept watching silently. With a smile that may or may not be a smile, he raised his hand slightly, fearlessly bestowing blessings.
In the overlapping images, the hand of the Buddha gently touched his body.
At one point, I felt as if the Buddha was also smiling, inviting him to come forward and exchange a high-five.

I feel that being able to experience that time and space is an incredibly unimaginable fate and blessing. It applies to everything present.
I feel that just by watching this attempt to condense fragments of time and space, one can attain great merit and victory.
Time and space cannot be returned to. At least for us mortals, it is so.
But even in the reflection of illusions, faith is real.

I have a clear feeling:
"The supreme and profound subtle Dharma, difficult to encounter in hundreds of thousands of eons; now I see and hear it, and I vow to understand the true meaning of the Tathagata."

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